If you haven't read consummate weirdo Matthew F. Amati's piece "To Rundle the Parlous Hoon" yet, we suggest you pop open a new tab and take a peek. It showcases Amati's use of playful language to tell a cautionary tale, and the effort you might need to expend deciphering it is, we promise, worth it. The brief interview below probes a bit deeper into Amati's inner world and unique sense of humor.
What inspires you to create?
A postal clerk in Murfeesboro, TN named Dwayne T. Waldrop is my muse and inspiration. Ole Dwayne would be mighty surprised if he knew.
What other creative endeavors do you pursue?
I play the 5-string banjo.
What place does weirdness have in your life?
None. I exile it to these short stories, then I go to my job undermining security at the bank.
Where do you go or what do you do to recharge your creative battery?
My creative engine runs on fossil fuels; it’s outrageously dirty and noisy.
What is your favorite banned book?
Anything featuring slutty bank presidents, nuns bent on revenge, or ex-President Chester A. Arthur.
What is the most recent record/album you bought or listened to?
“Boxcar Willie’s Favorite Railroad Songs.”
Have you ever found story inspiration from a dream?
No. My plots are disjointed enough without bringing dreams into it.
How do you get through a creative block?
I just write poorly until (hopefully) I can write less poorly again.
What will your biography be titled?
“The Person Who Worked Various Jobs And Then Died.”
Is a hot dog a sandwich?
Is water meat? Is Boxcar Willie a composer? I have no idea.
Advice on creating that you’ve learned by trial and error?
Don’t do it unless threatened.
Unpopular opinion, go:
A sandwich is a type of hot dog.
What’s your favorite cryptid?
Boxcar Willie.
There’s “good” weird and there’s also "not-so-good" weird. What’s “good” weird to you?
The sloosh and huckle of giant disembodied tongues.
What is your writing theme song?
“Freight Train Took Muh Legs” by Boxcar Willie.
What do you think of garden gnomes?
They make a pleasing tinkly sound when you apply the mallet.
Name a book that made you cry (or feel like crying).
“Chicken Soup for the Soulless.”
Write an autobiographical haiku:
He’s done other jobs
But he got the sack, or quit.
Now he does this one.
What questions would you want to ask a fellow author or artist?
Who’s going to pay for the damage to my car? Is a hot dog a sandwich? Why don’t the pentagrams banish the shrieking nightmares?
Matthew F. Amati was born in Chicago and never got very far away. Over fifty of his stories have appeared in various print and online speculative fiction magazines. You can see some of his work on his diffidently updated website: www.mattamati.com. Always remember, "The first rule of Umpering, as we all know, is: never piss off the fardlery!"
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